No More Roller Coasters

Well, if mothers don't know everything, no one does.

Last night I went over to Molly's house and played with her awesome nieces. They have not learned that no matter how hard they try, I cannot be taken down in "wrestling." We made gingerbread houses and went to the store (I'm glad they came because it was hilarious to watch them run around Vons in pj's).

I got to talk to "Momma Fite" about life. She completely cleared my mind of concern.

This morning my mom stopped by my room before heading off to work. We got to talk a little bit as well.

I have arrived at this conclusion: mothers, though imperfect, are nearly always able to make sense of everything and give order to what would otherwise be a chaotic existence.

There's that feeling I hate on roller coasters

Whenever people ask me, "Do you like roller coasters?" I say, "No, they make me feel like my stomach is coming up through my throat, and I don't like to pay to feel that way."

Sometimes it doesn't just happen while I'm strapped to a metal box rolling down a track leading me through loops of "fun."

The good thing is the ride always ends. Things settle down. My stomach falls back into place. So maybe I don't hate roller coasters. Because how would I know how gravity felt if my feet were always stuck to the floor? How could true love be worth as much as so many thousands of men have paid for it if it's so easy for me?

If I didn't hate the feeling I get in my stomach, I wouldn't truly enjoy not having that feeling present. It can be one of the most difficult eternal truths to both comprehend and accept. I am nowhere near comprehension or acceptance, but I'm trying.

Tonight's ride ended. I'm going to bed a little bit happier to be on flat ground. I have written a lot about how happy I have been lately. Add another smile to that because tonight I felt like I was having it all ripped away only to have it given back again. It's like gaining everything all over. It's a refreshing feeling of sorts, just not one I would prefer to relive too often.

I can't promise you much

Dear Rex,

I know you've been anxiously awaiting my arrival. I will be with you shortly. Here are just a few things I wanted to discuss with you before I get there:

1. It may seem like everything is going great now...because it is. Be happy where you are. If you don't like something, fix it, but I'm not going to go solving all of your problems for you. I may even create a few when we meet.

2. The possibilities are endless if you're willing to work hard. I can offer you the best or worst of everything. I can't promise you much, but give it your best and you'll be glad to see me.

3. If I seem late in coming, don't wait for me. Sometimes I get a little sidetracked and show up when you least expect it. Go and do what it is you want to do without a second thought. I can catch up.

Anyway, I'm sure you're excited. There's plenty of reason for it. Keep your head up high and your parents on speed dial.

Sincerely,

The Future

Merry Christmas

I just found myself rereading my journal entry from two nights ago and starting to cry. Kind of crazy how my life is going. I'm happy.

Today Molly came over for Christmas Eve dinner and it was great. I was a little uncomfortable with some of the jokes being tossed around, but she took it like a champ and I ended up more bothered than anyone. It's all fine now because I know how my family feels about her, and it's all very positive feedback. They had nothing but nice things to say, which is great since I have nothing but the best things to say.

Anyway, I feel like this Christmas is different, or that I'm supposed to be in a different mood of some sort. Maybe it just came up on me quickly with finals and then a series of sudden life-changing events. Regardless of what I should be feeling at this point, I'm full of love and happiness (that is what I should be feeling I suppose). I could not ask for better gifts than the love of my family and friends. It's a great time to be alive.

Merry Christmas.

Well I finally did it...

I finally wrote in my journal again. I haven't even cracked that thing open since mid-October. Good thing I filled my future kids in on their future dad's happenings (we all know I'm never going to read these things).

There was clearly a significant reason for the entry. It's what my cell phone has recorded as having occurred at exactly 11:57 tonight. I heard it. I didn't expect to. I didn't think I had any right to. But I heard it. And all I could say was "wow."

I would ask you to wish me luck, but there are forces much stronger than that in motion.

Adieu.

Makes you hate me, right?

By now you're probably pretty sick of reading all of these similarly-themed posts. Let me just add another one while I'm at it then:

I am grateful that I can change the course of my life. I am grateful to be able to learn from my foolish decisions, and even my not-so foolish ones. I don't feel I should be penalized for them now that I have moved on. I should not be in trouble for being happy and I shouldn't have to feel bad for feeling good.

That being said, today was looooong. (certainly I did not have the longest day like some others, but it was significant).

Gym, work for a few hours, preparing a song for caroling w/Dad, caroling w/family, hanging out with Molly. Lots of stuff. The end of the evening was nice :)

I am grateful to my parents for providing opportunities for us to bond as a family. I just wish I had been in a more receiving mood for that tonight. I do feel regret for having a poor attitude at first. Hopefully I can improve on that soon.

I'm trying hard not to start counting down until my departure. It's not bad because I'm going to a great place where I need to be. I just wish it wasn't going to be so hard.

What else would you call it?

So I'm starting to design an illustrated book (like a children's book) called "The Boy Who Cried Love" about a little boy in the first grade. He learns about the concept of love and starts looking everywhere. There will be several cases of mistaken emotion and he will soon become disillusioned with the idea. Just when he believes that the whole thing has been a myth he meets someone. She is nothing like anyone else in the whole school and at first he ignores her because he is sure there could be no reason for her to be in love with him. But when he's out at recess all he can think about is asking her to play tetherball. The story develops and they end up walking around the playground holding hands every day. The boy is happy. The girl is happy. There may be a hint of the summer coming and school ending, but I don't know how the rest plays out yet. I may leave it a cliffhanger or a "to be continued."

I think if I do this right, it could be great.

Oh and the book too, that could be pretty good.

Behold the day of irony

A great ironic twist has come to pass in my life. I have joined the ranks of a group that I once mocked and have found something I once believed impossible.

And I couldn't care less about how much of a hypocrite that makes me.

I've found the reason to be ecstatic about things that warrant only average excitement.

I apologize to all I may have made fun of, though none of those people will ever see this.

You make four U-turns enjoyable (or was it five?). You make an evening incredible. You give everything something extra.

And they call the wind...

Accomplishments for the day: visit to the temple, stitches removal, bought a new car, spent time with one amazing girl (three great women to be exact) and a bunch of awesome people.

Today was a success.

In particular, tonight's activity was a huge success.

I am so glad my sister went and had a good time. I love her to death. I am seriously impressed by her skills at ginger bread house creation. She and Nate took the cake on presentation.

Of course, Brad had a really creative piece of art: Ode to the Outhouse. I'm not sure that he really named it that, but it would be appropriate.

Anyway, the point is, something I did and never received blessings for is apparently kicking in because I haven't been particularly nice and somehow everything has been going right lately. I am overly grateful for all these blessings. The funny thing is it's most definitely nothing that I did, just God showing His love for me. I could never deserve everything I have received lately.

It's a great time to be alive.

What a dramatic shift

This morning I had a final I didn't study enough for, a cavity filling that left my face numb for three hours, and a horribly rough time searching for cars after finding out the one I loved was way overpriced.

Then:

I had an incredible afternoon, evening and night.

I could not imagine a finer way to celebrate the end to my semester here in Clovis.

Special thanks goes to my dad for loaning us his truck and golf clubs, to the people who ignored our bad golfing at the range, and to a great family that put up with me ruining their movie by talking.

How could I not write about this? It will be hard to match.

In My Estimation

Through extensive research gathered over a 21-year period, the author has discovered a high correlation between all upcoming geographical relocations and the introduction of a person of interest, always female, into his database.

Upon further analysis, the author considers it highly probable that he was once cursed by a gypsy to be constantly on the brink of something great in order to perpetuate a state of eternal dissatisfaction.

Right? That has got to be it.

'Twas the night before Sunday

BYU thrashed Fresno State. Sort of. They won at least.

Anyway, I just thought I would express my undying love for random jams. No matter how it comes together, there's just a feeling you get being somewhere new, singing till you can't any more. That's what makes me feel alive.

So here's my two cents: Whatever it is that gives you that feeling, go do it. Do it often. Make sure you're living the way you would want someone to write about you. If it's base jumping, take a leap. If it's sorting socks, go to Target and pick yourself up a new pair.
There's nothing worth doing that you can't do often. And if you can, you should. Not out of a moral obligation, but out of a human obligation. Breathe, bleed, squish mud between your fingers.

I'm no perfect example. I have had my share of wasted moments and regrets, but it's not about that. There's not enough time to live in yesterday or wait till tomorrow.

P.S. Special thanks to the random jammers and BYU men's basketball and Nate's frostie funds.

Here's a Question:

Does anyone else ever have a mental/emotional relapse into a time when things were different? I don't mean PTSD, I mean are you ever talking to your best friend and feel like you're 12 again? I could be the only person like that, but it happened today. I got a text from an old friend and I felt like I was 18 again.

I don't want to be 18 again, but it wasn't a bad feeling.

Anyway...life is getting ridiculously jam-packed full of important things to do with my time and I just spent the last 6 hours plays video games with two of my best friends. I should be much more responsible than this. Tomorrow's a new day though. I'll put everything off till tomorrow.

Glee: A Series of Unanswered Questions

Tonight I was in good company while beholding the end of this, the first season of Glee.

During the drama, Nate posed a brilliant question. It is one of many;

"How did they come up with the costumes so quickly," he mused. Then there was a flurry of inquiries: "How could they learn such complex choreography on such short notice?" "How is it possible for one voice to stick out of the group without screaming if they don't use microphones?"

That was just the beginning.

So despite the "conclusion" to all of the big issues like if Quinn and Puck and bla bla bla, we are left wondering so many technical things.

Most of you (and this would be 2 of 3 people who read my blog to create a majority) by now have though, "I will never watch television with you." Be advised, that is wise. I'm cynical. It can be annoying how critical I am but it's who I am and despite some course correction in my life, I have maintained much of that side of me. I don't want to be different.

My mission president wisely told me that my gift is to find errors, but my goal should be learning to correct lovingly and uplift. Duly noted. Probably going to be a January 1st'er for a while.

Merry Wednesday to all, and to all a good night.

A Further Look Into Christmas Rewrites

Here's what I've completed so far on the Eye of The Reindeer:

Risin' up, back to the skies
Did his time, 11 months now
Made the gifts, now he's out makin' rounds
Just a man and some kids who need toys

So many years, they've all gone so fast
But Santa never grows weary
Won't lose his grip on this cold Christmas eve
He must fight just to keep them in flight

It's the eye of the reindeer
It's the thrill of the sleigh
Risin' up through the clouds chuck full of presents
And a hundred thousand children lay asleep in their beds
They're all dreaming of what they might get...
Christmas morning



There will probably be another verse. I started one about a kid who sees his face, but Santa had to kill him and that's not child-friendly so I had to back track. Then chorus again...obviously.

Hope you're all having a lovely Christmas prep period and thinking about the reason for the season. Enjoy the music.

Not quite Christmas

Here's a new post dedicated to what my family spent the last hour working on: Christmas carols.

Throughout our years here in Clovis, California, the Biberston family has been known to many close friends as a caroling bunch. Every December we get in the car and drive around singing on the door steps of ward members, family friends, etc. The inspiration comes from a passion my father and I share. Most artists write their own music; we transform the music of others to meet Christmas-based lyrical guidelines. This is still an art.

For a little taste, here are a few titles and their accompanying Christmas lyrical concepts:

Copa Cabana (At the Copa, Copa CaSanta, the coldest point north of Havana)

Smooth Criminal (You've been hit by a Smooth Santa Claus...As he came in through the chimney, was the sound of lots of sleigh bells)

Air Supply's classic I'm All Out of Love(Gifts) (Santa crying about a shortage of Christmas gifts)

A personal favorite that my sister helped me with: Don't You Wish Your Santa Had Gifts Like Me

I think you get the idea.

It's not as easy as it seems. Final drafts take a good deal of time to work up and we're already behind. Hopefully everything comes out fine and the families of the Fresno/Clovis area can once again enjoy the holiday stylings of the Biberston family Christmas quartet.

The Rex Factor

I still think Dan Cuneo was right when he said I should have written a section in my school paper called the Rex Factor. Lots of potential there. Not that the writing would be good, but the title is so incredible. You can't deny that.

Today I was at school for 15 minutes, a doctor's appointment, a wedding reception, a Christmas choir concert, and a friend's house. Lots in one day. Go me.

Tomorrow I will be working at a car show, praying that someone will want to talk to us about where we work. Please let there be at least one good lead. We need more students.

Harper's Back!!!

Today I spent very little time doing anything productive, which is the reason I stayed home from work. I was planning on doing homework and studying...but you know how that goes. The TV speaks louder than the books.

Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door. It was my amazing friend Chris who is finally on leave after a year of being in Virginia with the Coast Guard! What a surprise. We hung out for a while and caught up. I cannot believe how good it feels to see friends after so long. I didn't realize how much I missed that guy.

Anyway, I couldn't think of anything clever to write so I thought I would just share my joy at having amazing friends to share life with.

And I did laugh at your link so does that mean we are friends?

Don't do anything I wouldn't do. (nearly limitless possibilities)