Like Molasses

"Like Molasses" is how I describe my emotional reaction time to momentous occasions.

For example, when I was about to enter the MTC and not see my family again for 2 years, I basically rushed off as they all cried their little eyes out. And to be honest the emotions didn't catch up with me as harshly as with other elders, but eventually I felt the strain of missing my family and my country and good food.

I have lived through several life-altering events that would normally induce tears, but in me registered nothing for days or even months.

Am I a zombie?

I don't think so. As far as I know, I don't eat brain.

There's something inside of me that dearly wants to know why I am so emotionally unaffected by things for long periods of time. I would love an explanation. From someone else. Introspection just isn't cutting it.

I'm getting married this Saturday and I think despite my mocking his attitude, I have a bit of whatever my friend Tyler is suffering from. He's getting married soon too and said, "I don't really think my life will change all that much."

Look, I know my life is going to change dramatically (for the better, definitely) but shouldn't I be way more nervous or scared or at least preoccupied? Maybe I get it from my mom. She's not a big worrier.

Anyway, I'm not saying this is a curse. I kind of like not being nervous about big life changes. I can't wait to be Molly's husband and to move into our new apartment and meet the challenges of life together. It just makes me feel like the whole weight of the thing has not hit me. As though there's a giant dumbbell about to fall on me when it's already fallen on everyone else.

I'll let you know when it hits. For now it's all picnics and roses : )